The Ugliest Man in Missouri

I mean no harm, or disrespect in this posting. I am merely reprinting what was published in a newspaper in Olympia, Washington, April 6, 1894. An early example of tabloid reporting? I bet the headline of then, much like mine today, grabbed readers attention and sold newspapers. I wonder if Scott Swartzlander was what would be considered an Albino?

His Face Was His Fortune. The Ugliest Man in Missouri Gets Out of Trouble in an Unexpected Manner.

On the southern edge of Phelps county lives Scott Swartzlander, who is considered the ugliest man in Missouri, and there are some of his neighbors who will bet his equal cannot be produced from any quarter. Swartzlander, who is thirty years old, says the St. Louis Globe-Democrat, has white hair, eyes like a Chinaman, no eyebrows, a nose of abnormal proportions, which lops over almost to his cheek bone, and is ornamented at the end with a beautiful comic bulb. He is lank and tall, and there are numerous other imperfections that add to this picture of general and particular ugliness. Swartzlander was arrested about a year ago for cutting timber on government lands in Pulaski county, and when his trial came up at Springfield before the United States court the prisoner was promptly arraigned. While the district attorney was reading the judge said, addressing the district attorney: "You may enter nolle prosequl in the prisoner's case. After a careful scrutiny of his physiognomy I am convinced that any man who is compelled to carry that face is punished quite enough for the amount of lumber which he is charged with having unlawfully taken from government lands. You are discharged, Mr. Swartzlander. Go as quickly as you can, and don't forget to take your face with you."

Undoubtedly this decision of the learned and discriminating judge at Springfield, MO., entitles Scott Swartzlander to the undisputed title: The Ugliest Man in Missouri."

Finally! A Bushwhackers Name Is Revealed!

I have read many accounts of "bushwhackers" and the mayhem that they wreaked during, and after the Civil War. Every time that I come across a mention of them, I make sure to scrutinize it, mainly because my interests in the murderer of Callaway H. Manes, who was shot and killed in cold blood at Conn's Creek, Missouri. The book "The First Hundred Years Of Crocker", makes several references to bushwhackers, and even recounts a female bushwhacker who continued to openly live in Pulaski County, Missouri, after The War Between The States. Unfortunately, the book's author, Nellie (Stites) Willis, does not disclose names of the purported bushwhackers. The following was published in a Boise, Idaho newspaper, October 6, 1866. It is the first time that I have been able to attach a name to a Civil War Guerilla in the Pulaski County and surrounding areas. The search for the name of Reverend Manes' murderer continues.

Bushwackers in Southwest Missouri

--The St. Louis Democrat of Sept. 6th has the following:

"One of the most noted of the bushwhackers in Missouri, Dick Kitchen, appears to be still keeping up the war in Southwest Missouri and Arkansas. On 12th ultimo he conspicuously figured in a bloody tragedy, resulting in the death of a highly esteemed Union citizen. A gentleman from Rolla narrates to us the circumstances substantially as follows:"

"Kitchen has never surrendered, boasts that he has not, and swears that he never will. Since the peace, has been roving through the border districts of Missouri and Arkansas, always very abundantly armed, usually accompanied by a band of desperadoes like himself, and sometimes alone. He and his men are said to have this season raised a crop somewhere in Arkansas, meanwhile continuing their robberies of Union people, and since then entering fresh upon a premedatory life. Numerous outrages upon the rights of property convinced the Unionists that Kitchen and his bandits were still ranging the country, and a short time ago it was learned that he was at a place known as "The Widow Mace's House," just north of the southern boundary of Phelps county, Missouri. This intelligence was brought to a township near to the line of Texas and Dent counties, Missouri, the residence of several ex-Union soldiers and guerrilla hunters. Among the citizens was Rev. John Samples, widely known for his active Unionism in the war, a Methodist Episcopal minister, yet true son of Mars, at present preaching over 'the Salem circuit.' His son, James Samples, volunteered to be one of the party to go after and arrest Kitchen. Four others--George Reed, Randall, and two more whose name our informant cannot recall, went with Samples.

On the afternoon of Sunday, the 25th ultimo, they reached the Widow Mace's, surrounded the house, and one of them called upon Kitchen to surrender. Three were guarding one door, and two--Samples and Reed--the other. Suddenly Kitchen ran out to pass these two and Samples bade him halt or they would fire. He paid no attention to this, and the two then fired with revolvers he at the same instant turning and firing back with one of his revolvers. All the shots failed effect. Samples and Kitchen then came together and the latter fired first, wounding Samples in the groin. He fired as he fell and missed. Reed then fired, and Kitchen ran, unhurt, then turned and fired at Reed without hitting him.

On Sunday Kitchen reappeared at the Lenox Farm, where, during the war, they massacred Andreas Darling. This place is but eight miles from Rolla, and parties who formerly lived there became so obnoxious to the bushwhackers that the latter have repeatedly called, in the hope of finding them returned. But the obnoxious Unionists of Lenox farm are now permanently located in St. Louis, whither they came just in time to escape the fate of Mr. Darling.

Italians Go To Missouri (1898)

The following was published in a Little Rock, Arkansas newspaper, February 5, 1898.

St. James, MO., February 5., --Ten of the Italians under the management of Tullio Malesani, who have purchased 1,200 acres of land in Dawson Township, Phelps county, for the purpose of forming an Italian colony, have arrived in this city from Sunny Side, Arkansas, and are making extensive preparations to improve their land. They have received a car-load of lumber from St. Louis, and are busily engaged in building houses, etc.

The colony at Sunny Side, which is composed of 900 people, was compelled to look for another location on account of the malaria at that place, and Mr. Malesani has certainly used good judgment in making the selection he did. It is expected that the majority of the colony will come to this place, while some will go to South America, and others will return to Italy. Mr. Malesani is but 24 years of age, and has been in this country only twenty-three months, but he is well posted in regard to the American ways, and handles the language in an excellent manner for one who has been here such a short time.

He reads, writes and speaks five different languages, and is an exceptionally smart young man, and also transacts all business for the colony. At their former home in Arkansas they were well organized, have their own churches, schools, stores, brass band, orchestra, etc., and it is expected that they will do the same thing at this place as quick as arrangements can be made.

One hundred and thirty Italians are expected to arrive as quick as there are buildings enough to accommodate them. Work at this place is being pushed as rapidly as possible, and no time will be lost until everything is completed. The loss of this colony to Sunny Side is greatly regretted by the people of that place, as they were considered good citizens and very industrious people, and used every effort possible to build up the community in which they live. Mr. Malesani is the agricultural engineer.