Monday, September 14, 2009

The Ugliest Man in Missouri

I mean no harm, or disrespect in this posting. I am merely reprinting what was published in a newspaper in Olympia, Washington, April 6, 1894. An early example of tabloid reporting? I bet the headline of then, much like mine today, grabbed readers attention and sold newspapers. I wonder if Scott Swartzlander was what would be considered an Albino?

His Face Was His Fortune. The Ugliest Man in Missouri Gets Out of Trouble in an Unexpected Manner.

On the southern edge of Phelps county lives Scott Swartzlander, who is considered the ugliest man in Missouri, and there are some of his neighbors who will bet his equal cannot be produced from any quarter. Swartzlander, who is thirty years old, says the St. Louis Globe-Democrat, has white hair, eyes like a Chinaman, no eyebrows, a nose of abnormal proportions, which lops over almost to his cheek bone, and is ornamented at the end with a beautiful comic bulb. He is lank and tall, and there are numerous other imperfections that add to this picture of general and particular ugliness. Swartzlander was arrested about a year ago for cutting timber on government lands in Pulaski county, and when his trial came up at Springfield before the United States court the prisoner was promptly arraigned. While the district attorney was reading the judge said, addressing the district attorney: "You may enter nolle prosequl in the prisoner's case. After a careful scrutiny of his physiognomy I am convinced that any man who is compelled to carry that face is punished quite enough for the amount of lumber which he is charged with having unlawfully taken from government lands. You are discharged, Mr. Swartzlander. Go as quickly as you can, and don't forget to take your face with you."

Undoubtedly this decision of the learned and discriminating judge at Springfield, MO., entitles Scott Swartzlander to the undisputed title: The Ugliest Man in Missouri."

No comments:

Post a Comment