The Ugliest Man in Missouri

I mean no harm, or disrespect in this posting. I am merely reprinting what was published in a newspaper in Olympia, Washington, April 6, 1894. An early example of tabloid reporting? I bet the headline of then, much like mine today, grabbed readers attention and sold newspapers. I wonder if Scott Swartzlander was what would be considered an Albino?

His Face Was His Fortune. The Ugliest Man in Missouri Gets Out of Trouble in an Unexpected Manner.

On the southern edge of Phelps county lives Scott Swartzlander, who is considered the ugliest man in Missouri, and there are some of his neighbors who will bet his equal cannot be produced from any quarter. Swartzlander, who is thirty years old, says the St. Louis Globe-Democrat, has white hair, eyes like a Chinaman, no eyebrows, a nose of abnormal proportions, which lops over almost to his cheek bone, and is ornamented at the end with a beautiful comic bulb. He is lank and tall, and there are numerous other imperfections that add to this picture of general and particular ugliness. Swartzlander was arrested about a year ago for cutting timber on government lands in Pulaski county, and when his trial came up at Springfield before the United States court the prisoner was promptly arraigned. While the district attorney was reading the judge said, addressing the district attorney: "You may enter nolle prosequl in the prisoner's case. After a careful scrutiny of his physiognomy I am convinced that any man who is compelled to carry that face is punished quite enough for the amount of lumber which he is charged with having unlawfully taken from government lands. You are discharged, Mr. Swartzlander. Go as quickly as you can, and don't forget to take your face with you."

Undoubtedly this decision of the learned and discriminating judge at Springfield, MO., entitles Scott Swartzlander to the undisputed title: The Ugliest Man in Missouri."

Finally! A Bushwhackers Name Is Revealed!

I have read many accounts of "bushwhackers" and the mayhem that they wreaked during, and after the Civil War. Every time that I come across a mention of them, I make sure to scrutinize it, mainly because my interests in the murderer of Callaway H. Manes, who was shot and killed in cold blood at Conn's Creek, Missouri. The book "The First Hundred Years Of Crocker", makes several references to bushwhackers, and even recounts a female bushwhacker who continued to openly live in Pulaski County, Missouri, after The War Between The States. Unfortunately, the book's author, Nellie (Stites) Willis, does not disclose names of the purported bushwhackers. The following was published in a Boise, Idaho newspaper, October 6, 1866. It is the first time that I have been able to attach a name to a Civil War Guerilla in the Pulaski County and surrounding areas. The search for the name of Reverend Manes' murderer continues.

Bushwackers in Southwest Missouri

--The St. Louis Democrat of Sept. 6th has the following:

"One of the most noted of the bushwhackers in Missouri, Dick Kitchen, appears to be still keeping up the war in Southwest Missouri and Arkansas. On 12th ultimo he conspicuously figured in a bloody tragedy, resulting in the death of a highly esteemed Union citizen. A gentleman from Rolla narrates to us the circumstances substantially as follows:"

"Kitchen has never surrendered, boasts that he has not, and swears that he never will. Since the peace, has been roving through the border districts of Missouri and Arkansas, always very abundantly armed, usually accompanied by a band of desperadoes like himself, and sometimes alone. He and his men are said to have this season raised a crop somewhere in Arkansas, meanwhile continuing their robberies of Union people, and since then entering fresh upon a premedatory life. Numerous outrages upon the rights of property convinced the Unionists that Kitchen and his bandits were still ranging the country, and a short time ago it was learned that he was at a place known as "The Widow Mace's House," just north of the southern boundary of Phelps county, Missouri. This intelligence was brought to a township near to the line of Texas and Dent counties, Missouri, the residence of several ex-Union soldiers and guerrilla hunters. Among the citizens was Rev. John Samples, widely known for his active Unionism in the war, a Methodist Episcopal minister, yet true son of Mars, at present preaching over 'the Salem circuit.' His son, James Samples, volunteered to be one of the party to go after and arrest Kitchen. Four others--George Reed, Randall, and two more whose name our informant cannot recall, went with Samples.

On the afternoon of Sunday, the 25th ultimo, they reached the Widow Mace's, surrounded the house, and one of them called upon Kitchen to surrender. Three were guarding one door, and two--Samples and Reed--the other. Suddenly Kitchen ran out to pass these two and Samples bade him halt or they would fire. He paid no attention to this, and the two then fired with revolvers he at the same instant turning and firing back with one of his revolvers. All the shots failed effect. Samples and Kitchen then came together and the latter fired first, wounding Samples in the groin. He fired as he fell and missed. Reed then fired, and Kitchen ran, unhurt, then turned and fired at Reed without hitting him.

On Sunday Kitchen reappeared at the Lenox Farm, where, during the war, they massacred Andreas Darling. This place is but eight miles from Rolla, and parties who formerly lived there became so obnoxious to the bushwhackers that the latter have repeatedly called, in the hope of finding them returned. But the obnoxious Unionists of Lenox farm are now permanently located in St. Louis, whither they came just in time to escape the fate of Mr. Darling.

Italians Go To Missouri (1898)

The following was published in a Little Rock, Arkansas newspaper, February 5, 1898.

St. James, MO., February 5., --Ten of the Italians under the management of Tullio Malesani, who have purchased 1,200 acres of land in Dawson Township, Phelps county, for the purpose of forming an Italian colony, have arrived in this city from Sunny Side, Arkansas, and are making extensive preparations to improve their land. They have received a car-load of lumber from St. Louis, and are busily engaged in building houses, etc.

The colony at Sunny Side, which is composed of 900 people, was compelled to look for another location on account of the malaria at that place, and Mr. Malesani has certainly used good judgment in making the selection he did. It is expected that the majority of the colony will come to this place, while some will go to South America, and others will return to Italy. Mr. Malesani is but 24 years of age, and has been in this country only twenty-three months, but he is well posted in regard to the American ways, and handles the language in an excellent manner for one who has been here such a short time.

He reads, writes and speaks five different languages, and is an exceptionally smart young man, and also transacts all business for the colony. At their former home in Arkansas they were well organized, have their own churches, schools, stores, brass band, orchestra, etc., and it is expected that they will do the same thing at this place as quick as arrangements can be made.

One hundred and thirty Italians are expected to arrive as quick as there are buildings enough to accommodate them. Work at this place is being pushed as rapidly as possible, and no time will be lost until everything is completed. The loss of this colony to Sunny Side is greatly regretted by the people of that place, as they were considered good citizens and very industrious people, and used every effort possible to build up the community in which they live. Mr. Malesani is the agricultural engineer.

Smallpox in Missouri Legislature (1907)

The following was published in a newspaper in San Jose, California, February 23, 1907.

Smallpox in Missouri Legislature--Legislators Are Shunned.

Jefferson City, Mo., Feb 22.--Representative
W. J. Salts, of Phelps county, was taken down with smallpox while in his seat upon the floor of the House today. Much commotion occurred among the other members.

The House this afternoon, after its hall had been fumigated, adjourned until Monday. The Senate voted to work a few hours this afternoon, and then adjourn until Tuesday next.

Many boarding house keepers have refused to allow Legislators to enter their homes, and Governor Folk a short time offered the use of his mansion to those who are unable to obtain quarters elsewhere.

Representatives Salts was in conference with Governor Folk a short time this morning. The Governor said: "I noticed the pimples on Mr. Salts face, but thought nothing of them at the time. Possibly I shall have to get vaccinated now, but I do not feel at all alarmed.

The Governor was vaccinated about three years ago, he said.

Missouri Murderer Suicides to Escape Lynching (1901)

The following was published in a newspaper in Aberdeen, South Dakota September 26, 1901

Bullet Through His Heart. Missouri Murderer Suicides to Escape Lynching.

Kansas City, Sept. 26.--A special to The Times from Rolla, Mo., says:

Surrounded in a barn, but a few blocks from the scene of his crime, Professor J. S. Croswell, who Monday night murdered his sweetheart, Miss Mollie Powell, a prominent young woman of this city, at 11:15 p.m. sent a bullet through his own heart to prevent being lynched by an angry posse.

Ever since the tragedy at the Powell home Monday evening, Croswell had been hiding from a large posse of citizens and college students that ransacked buildings and searched almost every spot in the city.

Croswell was located in a barn near the center of the town, where he had been hiding probably ever since his flight from the Powell home. When discovered he ran to another barn near by and here the posse bayed him.

Just as the attack was to be made the report of a pistol was heard inside the building and when the pursuers broke in they found the murderer prone upon the floor. A bullet had pierced his heart and death was instantaneous.

Honey, I'm Home!

This was published in a Fort Worth, Texas newspaper, September 8, 1909. I reprint it here because 100 years later, it is still an interesting story.

24 Years Gone; Returns. Missouri Man Found Wife on Farm Where He Left Her.

Springfield, Mo., Sept. 7.--Twenty-four years ago Jacob J. HILL homesteaded a quarter section of land in Pulaski county but before he proved up on it he disappeared from home. Years elapsed and nothing was heard from HILL. His wife was permitted to prove title to the land, and with her five children she clung to the old hillside farm, barely eking out an existence. Some years ago Mrs. HILL was forced to mortgage a portion of the original tract.

Much to her surprise, her husband put in an appearance a few days ago, and has claimed his farm and his wife, who had not been divorced nor married again. The only explanation HILL offered was that he has been living in Texas all these years. When he returned he claimed ownership of the farm, and, it is stated, declared he would not pay the mortgage put on it by his wife. The story of HILL's disappearance and return after so many years became known when holders of the mortgage executed by Mrs. HILL appeared at the government land office here to ascertain whether or not they can collect their claims on the patent issued to Mrs. HILL

Updates & Corrections For August 2009

The Irish Cemetery is referenced in the book Tombstone Inscriptions of Pulaski County. It states "Several Irish workers who died while building the railroad are buried near Keeling's Diner on the Spur to Ft. Leonard Wood."
This moves the location further away from the Main Gate, which makes more sense to me. I had wondered how the U.S. Army had not uncovered their remains when they built the gate and then revamped it after September 11, 2001. Of course, Keeling's Diner has been replaced by a gas station, and I do not recall hearing about any bodies being uncovered during the digging for pumps and tanks. Surely that would have been big news in this small town. The description does say, near Keeling's Diner, though, not under the parking lot, so who knows.

I apologize for jumping the gun and commenting that the Pulaski County Historical Society overlooked the Poor Farm in the book mentioned above. I based that off the list of cemeteries included in the Table of Contents and neglected to look in the "Unknown Gravesites and Lone Graves" section. It is included there and I am including it here for posterity:

"The Old County farm Cemetery, near Waynesville is marked by sandstones only."

I have two additions to add to the list of confirmed burials at the County Farm:
BROYLES, CORA BELLE APR 8, 1871-AUG 29, 1951
GATES, ELIAS H. NOV 13, 1866- DEC 24, 1946

Hopefully, if the Historical Society prints an update or a revision to their book, these twenty three names will be included. The book, along with other publications, is available for purchase at the 1903 Pulaski County Missouri Court House Museum. The search for more confirmations of burials at the County Farm Cemetery still continues.

I have been asked about making a database of cemetery info and a compilation of the locations of the places from the past that we have sought out over the summer. Those are both big projects to undertake but I have not thrown those ideas out the window yet. Keep the comments and emails coming, I cave under pressure rather easily!

I have started an online repository of Pulaski County, Missouri obituaries for genealogical research. It can be located at:

http://pulaskicountyobits.blogspot.com

As of September 1, 2009 it includes 210 obituaries. A majority of them are from this summer, but a good portion are from the John J. Watts collection. John J. Watts hailed from Warren, Maine and moved to the northern Ozarks of Missouri sometime after the Civil War. He was a circuit-riding Baptist Minister and his territory covered Phelps, Pulaski, and Texas Counties and parts of Maries and Dent Counties. He established a cemetery, Watt’s Lawn, which is located 1 mile West of J Highway, near the Pulaski County-Phelps County line. This collection covers 1878-1912. I am posting them in blog format, simply because of search functionality. To search by name simply type the name in the box and click "search blog" in the upper left hand corner. If you have a full obituary, other than an abstract, that you would like included, simply email me at snoopdorkydork71@gmail.com.



I have spent a lot of time with the deceased this summer, whether by walking through the cemeteries, searching through death certificates, or reading hundred year old ledgers. I want to take a moment to return to the living and celebrate a special occasion of two of my dear friends. Mike Elmer and Terrie Runion were married August 29, 2009 at 5:00 p.m. in Eureka Springs, Arkansas. Terrie is one of my dearest, and oldest friends and I am happy to count Mike as my brother-in-law. I wish you two a long, joyful, and prosperous marriage. Congratulations!

Laura a/k/a Snoop Dorky Dork